Alright, I am now into my 3rd crystal, Citrine! This means I am finished with my Throat Chakra crystals and am now working on my Solar Plexus. If you’re new here and want to know what on earth I’m doing, here’s my initial post on why I’m doing this, here is my post about Turquoise and here is my post about Blue Topaz.
Before I get into this, I just want to say that this was a research project for entertainment purposes only. I have not and would never advocate using crystals in place of medicine. If you’re a skeptic of crystals or any type of alternative therapy, please keep an open mind! I did my best to be unbiased and honest in this trial. If nothing else, it will hopefully provide an interesting or entertaining look at my typical workweek.
Citrine for Singers
Citrine is a pretty revered stone in the crystal community. I came into this knowing very little about crystals, but Citrine is a big one that many people recommend. Here is the little card that came with mine:
This was the only crystal I bought that came with this handy card. I didn’t do too much additional research on Citrine’s benefits since I have a whole list here.
As you can see, there are a LOT of things it can supposedly do. To be fair, I believe you’re supposed to buy it with a specific intention in mind, and then work on that intention while using it. Don’t take my word for it, though.
Citrine is one of only two crystals that never needs to be cleared or cleansed, besides Kyanite. I am not quite sure what that means, but I went ahead and cleaned mine anyway in the initial purchase of my crystals so I’m good to go either way. It is a ‘professional support stone’ and helps people in sales, artists of all kinds, and media personnel. I guess technically I’m in all of those fields? I mean, I definitely consider session singing an art, and I sell my services, so…let’s hope this baby works!
Reading the reported benefits of crystals made me curious as to how these benefits were first discovered. I’ve had a hard time tracking down the initial discovery of said benefits, so I asked Melissa. Here is her response:
“Most of the crystals’ attributes and healing traits are connected to the Chakras they’re associated with. There are a lot of Crystals associated to the various Chakras, but for example, blue stones tend to be associated with the Throat Chakra — which has specific traits, qualities, etc. But that’s not always the case. As for the specific and direct correlation of the origins of this wisdom, that is a bit more difficult as the knowledge is ancient.”
Citrine was used in Ancient Greece between 300 – 150 B.C. as a decorative crystal. Scottish sword handles were made partly or entirely of citrine in the 17th century (I had a hard time finding any photos because Citrine is also used in many video games). Citrine comes from the French word “Citron” which means “lemon.”
Most commercially available Citrine today comes from Brazil. If you’re a big crystal fan, Brazil is apparently a great place to travel. However, it appears I may have another fake on my hands. Natural Citrine is not common, and most of the crystals sold in stores are heat-treated Amethyst or Smokey Quartz. Since I paid about $5 for this, I wasn’t expecting a priceless gem. However, I’m hoping it still will do what I want it to do. After all, it’s all about intent, right?
I found this video that explains the differences between ‘real’ and ‘fake’ Citrine, and it appears you can use the fake ones for pretty much the same reason.
Day 1
It’s a sunny day, so I got up and ran some errands. My Citrine is a long stone, so it’s stretching the cage out.
I hope it doesn’t ruin it, but I guess I’ll find out.
The good news is that there are a bunch of Citrine meditations on YouTube. They are all pretty long (about 20 minutes each, which is long for me), but I’m committed to doing them.
I was going to paint my nails to match my Citrine today, but I need to take a break from nail polish. It’s making my nails weak and they’re stained blue from the last two weeks of my polish. I’m still avoiding makeup from my breakout last week, so I do not look great right now. Thankfully I work from home so it doesn’t really matter I guess.
I’ve been reading more about the uses of Citrine, and I want to address one that really bothers me. I’ve seen several websites claiming that Citrine is a “natural antidepressant,” and I just want to shout from the mountaintops that IF YOU HAVE A MENTAL ILLNESS YOU NEED TO TAKE ACTUAL PRESCRIBED MEDICATION. I see this in the music community often as well. Memes and pictures of sunsets that say “Music is my Therapy” or “Music is my Medication.” Seriously, stop with this. That’s fine if you’re just having a bad day occasionally, but I have family members with mental illnesses, and they only need one small sign and that will be enough to make them throw their meds away. These medications are the ONLY way they can remain stable and keep themselves safe, and it’s dangerous to have garbage like this floating around the internet.
I get that people can make whatever claims they want, and no one is forcing people to throw their meds away. But I’ve seen how a person with mental illness who doesn’t want to take their meds will stumble onto a meme and think, “Hmm that’s right, I don’t need these meds! I can just listen to music and wear a Citrine!” If that’s you, please do not listen to memes made by sad teenagers. Take your meds. You need them.
Anyway, that was my soapbox moment.
I visited my grandma this afternoon, which is always nice. She has late stage dementia and is in a nursing home, but usually she’s in pretty good spirits even if she doesn’t know who I am. I looked through her old picture books and found this throwback:
Day 2
Today I released a music video of a song we’ve been working on, a cover of “I Thought I Knew it All” by Megadeth. I enjoyed working on the song, but releasing it is always a complete panic. I’m so terrified everyone will hate it and think I’m ugly and think the video is bad and I’m scared. I released it and drank half a shot of Whiskey (yes, at 1 pm) to calm my nerves, but because I’m a total lightweight I was unable to do much after that. I made boiled potatoes and hamburger meat for my dogs, because as we saw last week, my dog has some medical issues. So at least I got that done and out of the way for the week.
It’s snowing today again, and I am SO OVER IT you guys. I’m so done with the weather and terrible roads and not being able to go anywhere. I decided to go out in the backyard and play with the dogs for a bit.
A few months ago, I wrote an article about how to take song requests at your wedding. I pitched it to several bridal magazines, and Rock N’ Roll Bride based in New Zealand happily accepted. I love that they chose it, because a). this is definitely my kind of bridal magazine, and b). my friend, whose wedding inspired me to write the article, now lives in New Zealand. It’s kind of perfect. I was so happy to get the magazine today and see my name in print.
This also inspired me to write about crystals for MY Authentic Life Magazine, a spiritual magazine I write for regularly. I got started on that today but I want to draw a clear distinction between this project and my article.
The rest of my day was spent throwing up and in bed. I don’t have any reason for it other than anxiety over releasing a video and having my name in a magazine. I need to work on this because I lost most of the day to my own anxiety.
Day 3
I’m ready to make today better than yesterday. It’s already off to a good start – my accountant called me and I’m actually getting a tax REFUND, which is pretty rare as an entrepreneur. This is the first year I’ve had my own business where I didn’t end up owing money. Of course I’ll have to pay my accountant, so most of my refund will go to them, but it was well worth it.
I’ve also had some time (most of last night, since I didn’t sleep well) to think about my anxieties and let them go. Yes, the video is out, and some people won’t like it. That’s okay. Many people don’t like music that I like and vice versa. Also, I’m now to the point where I’m a little excited about having an article in a paper magazine.
I’ve written for many magazines before, but the physical copy is what made me nervous for some reason.
Most of my day today was spent working on future blog posts. I did get a job order late in the evening, but it was too late to get started so I’ll begin tomorrow. I watched a hilariously bad Bollywood movie that I highly recommend. If you love inexplicable plot lines, cheesy sound effects and a lot of implausible fight scenes, this is for you.
Day 4
This morning I woke up and ran out the door and completely forgot about my crystal. I had a casting call interview for an American Airlines commercial. I haven’t had an audition in YEARS, and I wasn’t even sure I wanted to go. However, I figured “why not?” at the last minute and bolted out the door.
I did not get the part. They were looking for “a female singer who has former female band members who live in New York City,” and this reminded me of what I always hated about auditions. In order to get a bunch of people to come out, they purposely leave out key details like this. It ends up wasting everyone’s time because they get a lot of people they can’t use, and we spend time auditioning when we didn’t even need to show up. I do not miss that world and I’m a little annoyed I let myself get sucked back into it.
Today I’m going to write more, work on my new song and I REALLY NEED to practice for my upcoming show. It’s less than a month away now so I need to amp up my practice.
The last two or three days have been spent exclusively on only a couple of blog posts. It amazes me how many hours can be spent on one piece of writing. I consider myself primarily a musician (since that’s primarily what I’m paid for), but I am also a writer. I’ve been published in magazines! I wrote a book! I’m a writer, and I feel like if I put more effort into this and dedicated my time to pitching and networking, I could probably do a lot more paid writing than I already do.
Something is wrong with me. This is the second night this week I’ve been physically sick at night. I had another job come in, a Broadway-style song, and I couldn’t do that one or the other new one because I was so dizzy and nauseous. I have a strong feeling it’s anxiety-related, but can’t confirm.
Day 5
I woke up and left the house again without my Citrine. I’ve been taking it out of the necklace at night to avoid stretching it out too much, but that means I don’t remember to put it on as easily in the morning. I have it back on now though.
I ordered my merch for my show!! I’m so nervous! I ordered shot glasses and small bracelets. I hope I sell at least a couple of them. Whatever I don’t sell I can put on my website I guess. It was a pretty decent chunk of money that I don’t exactly have right now, but hopefully I’ll make that back at the show. Gotta spend money to make money, I guess.
Tonight I *HAVE* to work on my two gigs I’ve been putting off. No matter how I feel tonight, I’m getting it done.
Last night I did my Citrine meditation and that led me to think about the Solar Plexus, which is what I’m supposed to be working on right now. When searching for symptoms of this chakra being out of alignment, I found that dizziness/nausea/anxiety are some of those symptoms? You would think doing this work would alleviate that, but maybe it’s stirring things up and working on unblocking stuff. I really don’t know.
I do have a weird story about Melissa to tell you, though. Last year I was taking her class and she said she would do a long distance Reiki healing on me. I forgot all about it. A night or so later, I bolted up at 4 am from a deep sleep. I didn’t feel bad or anything, just incredibly awake like I got a jolt of energy out of nowhere. It was such an odd feeling. I did get back to sleep eventually, but the next morning I checked my email. Melissa had written to tell me the time and day she would be doing the healing, and since she is in Australia, it ended up being exactly that time I woke up. I hadn’t seen the email prior to that, so it was crazy.
Now, of course, that could have been something unrelated. Maybe I happened to just randomly wake up during the time she planned that. Who knows? I just think it’s quite an interesting coincidence, and Melissa really knows her work.
Day 6
I remembered my Citrine today so I’m already off to a good start. I sent both clients their songs, but they will both need more work later. The first I sent only the lead vocal because I want to make sure that part meets the client’s specific needs before moving on to harmonies. The second was just a rough draft of a melody idea, so we have a lot of work ahead of us.
Another job came in last night for toplining so I’ll get started on that today or tomorrow.
Today, I had to get new shoes. I have a trip to Alaska coming up next month and I need some athletic shoes for it. I’ve been putting it off forever but I want to get it done today. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to find all black athletic hiking shoes. Why do most shoes have a white bottom when they’re made for hiking in mud and dirt? I found some though so I’m good.
I was offered a job that I can’t really talk about yet. It’s the right decision for me, but I’m still pretty nervous about it. I would essentially be setting aside my own business and kind of merging it with theirs. It’s a lot to think about, but in my heart I know I should (and probably will) do it. The biggest issue for me is health insurance. I’m a Type 1 Diabetic, and if you’re reading this from America, you know how screwed our healthcare is and has always been. If you have any kind of disability you’re pretty much screwed no matter what you do, but you have to choose the option that will screw you the least. I’m not sure what that is yet, so I have to think about it.
I got through a decent chunk of my songs and (hopefully) finished my client projects tonight. Tomorrow I will edit them and send. I’m also spending the day at my grandma’s old condo so I’ll have a lot of quiet time. Tonight I’m going to chill and rest.
Day 7
Oddly, I got another call for an audition this morning. I haven’t had any auditions in like 5 years, and I’ve suddenly had 2 this week. Citrine?? Is this your doing? Probably not, but it’s weird. I highly doubt I’ll get this part either because they were looking for someone with long hair and mine is still pretty short.
I had to dance like an idiot on camera and I chose my song Tangerine to dance to. My hope is that even if they don’t cast me, someone will like the song and want to use it. Let’s hope Citrine really does work, haha.
My grandma’s condo was not as relaxing as I thought. My family removed most of her things, including her TV and wifi. There wasn’t much to do and it was depressing being there without her. I stayed for maybe a few hours and then left.
It looks like things are moving along with that job. I don’t want to talk about it yet, because I firmly believe in jinxing things and I don’t want to do that. But it could be a positive step forward for my career. Again…Citrine?? Are you doing this? If so I’m going to have one permanently embedded in my skin, like a dermal piercing. I’ve always wanted my nose and/or eyebrow pierced but never did. If I get this job, I’ll pierce my eyebrow and find a Citrine ring.
Overall this week has just been a lot to take in. Most of it good, or at least pleasant. The singing issues I did have were minor and I feel like I was able to work on them effectively. A lot of business-related things happened, which has less to do with vocal health but is still very much about singing for me.
Here is my video recap of the week:
Next week is my last one, Yellow Tiger’s Eye!
What are your thoughts on crystals? I’d love to know your opinions!
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