I’ve been working with different crystals each week to see if they bring me any “opportunities,” documenting my results here. So far I’ve done Blue Apatite, Blue Kyanite, and now Polychrome Jasper (I like the name “Desert Jasper” way more so that’s what I’m calling it from here on.
So far, this has been the most effective crystal in this process! Here is my diary of what happened that week.
Working with Desert Jasper to Bring Opportunities
If you missed the first two, here is my video where I explain my project and what I’m doing:
The overall purpose of Desert Jasper is supposed to be to figure out where you are now, so that you can find out where you want to be. I definitely learned a lot this week and I have a much clearer picture of what I want my life to be.
Here is my video on Desert Jasper if you prefer to watch than read:
Saturday, 5/30/2020 – Day 1 – Desert Jasper
Today was absolutely nothing. The whole day went by and I can’t tell you a single thing I did. I tried working on so many things but my brain wouldn’t stick to anything. A friend suggested I try adderall, they take it and it helps them. I just felt completely psychotic for an entire day, so I already know that doesn’t work (or maybe the dose? Idk. I don’t know anything about what I’m doing).
I am a mess. I can’t focus, I’m depressed, I’m weak and inadequate. So that’s where I am. Where do I want to be?
Sunday, 5/31/2020 – Day 2 – Desert Jasper
I spent all of today having massive panic attacks, crying, and unable to focus. I don’t understand what is wrong. I don’t know what’s happening. I have an online therapist, but maybe I need an actual psychiatrist? Maybe there is something actually wrong with me.
I tried all of the things today. I did a meditation (on sadness, which I cried the whole way through), yoga for depression, and went to the park where I saw 3 rabbits running all over. Rabbits are my animal, and I have 3 jaspers. What does it mean?? Probably nothing; none of it probably means anything.
Monday, 6/1/2020 – Day 3 – Desert Jasper
Just spent almost $1,000 to fix my car today, so if any opportunities would like to present themselves anytime soon that would be great, just sayin.
Honestly I’m not too mad about the money, I’m trying to just look forward. June is here, this whole week is supposed to be 80 degrees, I’m excited. June is also an EXPENSIVE month because both of my parents and nephew’s birthdays are this month as well as father’s day, so seriously, opportunities? Where ya at?
But that’s the thing, what opportunities am I even looking for?
I just did the new Crystal Council survey and filled out the exact same thing. Looking for Opportunities, Removing Fear. Let’s see if maybe I just need another month?
Tuesday, 6/2/2020 – Day 4 – Desert Jasper
The entire world is falling apart. I want to join the protests, but I have such bad anxiety about even driving there that there’s just no way. I’m there in spirit, but hell no. I can’t be in large crowds, it’s overwhelming to me to the point where I get dizzy and light-headed.
One of my favorite clients suggested that I might be a Highly Sensitive Person. I looked up the “symptoms” and it definitely sounds like me, but I don’t know if there is an official diagnosis or what. I also don’t know what to do about it.
Every day is a blur. I wake up, work, keep working, it gets dark, I go to bed. I hate sleeping. My dogs are annoying but I could never kick them out; they’re old and used to my bed and I get it. If anyone is reading this, I’m sorry this is weird and boring and not like my normal blog at all. I never write personal stuff and I wasn’t planning on posting these, but hey. Just trying to roll with the punches.
Wednesday, 6/3/2020 – Day 5 – Desert Jasper
I really haven’t “worked” with these stones at all, and yet I feel they’ve made the greatest change in me thus far. The point of them is to “see clearly where you are now,” and so that’s basically all I’ve been doing with them. I’m taking an honest look at where I am in life, and I’m an absolute mess.
My physical and mental health are garbage. A lot of it is due to COVID and the lockdown. I don’t buy fresh food because that would mean I’d have to go to the store way more, so I’ve been eating exclusively canned and packaged stuff for months. I also haven’t been eating at all. I just don’t think about it. Some people stress eat, I can’t imagine eating when I’m stressed out. I feel like you can see my weight loss in my arms and face, but whatever honestly.
I also want to be more involved socially, with issues like Black Lives Matter, but that’s tied into my mental health because my absolute fear and panic of crowds prevents me from attending rallies. I know there are other things I can do, and I think I’ll start with reading and research. I think it’s definitely where I need to start, so I’m going to look for books on anti-racism.
Thursday, 6/4/2020 – Day 6 – Desert Jasper
I just had to pay my taxes and my accountant, so if ANY OPPORTUNITIES would like to present themselves, haha, that would be great.
Overall, Desert Jasper has been great. Carrying 3 large stones everywhere was very grounding and kept reminding me to observe where I am and where I want to be. I haven’t really meditated or done any “work” with them, but just taking the role of observing has been immensely helpful.
Friday, 6/5/2020 – Day 7 – Desert Jasper
This has been an intense week of reflection and passive observation. I made my video about “where I’m at” currently and it was so mentally and emotionally draining. I don’t feel like writing it again, I’m exhausted. But I have a lot to consider and a lot of work to do moving forward.
My next (and final, for this month) crystal is Rhodonite. It’s a love stone and helps with inner happiness and “reproduces the drive that makes us want to do things.” This is a perfect stone to transition into from Desert Jasper. I’m looking forward to it.
Final thoughts: I think Desert Jasper was VERY helpful. It held up a mirror so I could see clearly where I am. Now it’s time to move forward and make a change.
It didn’t necessarily “bring opportunities,” but if we go back to my first crystal, where I realized that “everything is an opportunity,” this honest look at myself this week has brought a ton of opportunities for change.